Crawling in my Skin

You know how people say “don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good”? Well don’t listen, because they’re usually trying to sneak something lazy and mediocre past without you noticing. It’s never OK to let the “good enough” be the enemy of the “totally fucking awesome”. And that has pretty much always been my work ethic, even when the focus of my overachievement was how to self-destruct in the most badass way possible. Because self destruction is what badass looks like when it wants perfection and it can’t have it (there will be blogs about this #waitforit). Which brings me to my point!! Today, on the 15th anniversary of 9/11 (OK it’s technically past midnight but work with me here) I had pledged to publish and #OMG it happened!! The glorious moment has arrived, despite the fact I am crawling in my skin with self-doubt, insecurity, and all of the feelings that hold human beings back from taking a risk.

My art looks like a 90’s grunge album, and all the blogs are old, and there are only three quotes in the random generator. There are pages I kept as drafts and took off the navigation until they’re ready. And guess what? That’s OK. We’re all going to have to live with the fact that perfectionism doesn’t just ‘happen’ by magic. It takes time, dedication, and focus on detail. There are experimental things I decided not to include yet, tutorials I still need to watch. I am not the kind of person who throws a generic header on a boring template. And there is nobody teaching me how to do this, nobody ever has. I scratched and clawed my way from literally nothing by never settling for the place anyone tried to put me. What’s good enough is always a balance between what’s achievable right now and saying “I can do better”.  I’ve suffered a lot of disappointment to learn this lesson!!

Today I am grateful that I can have this experience of placing myself out there in a new and vulnerable way, and know that this experience can potentially help others. I’m not doing this to become a celebretarian, I’m doing this to lead by example because I want *YOU* to be a celebretarian. I want self-actualization to be a commonplace and universal experience, because that is the entire point of advocating for a world set free in our lifetimes. Behind the curtain of political theory is a genuine desire for humanity to achieve its highest potential. And I think too often we fall into the trap of relying on politicians to “represent” us instead of speaking for ourselves. I don’t want to represent, or speak for, any of you. What I hope is that by producing digital content, blogs, videos, graphics, and photography it will inspire each one of you to tell your own story the way I am telling mine. Our struggles have value, our lives have value; and we can be part of touching others with the truth that their lives have value too.

Thank you for being on this journey with me. I am looking forward to it with you.


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